He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize