I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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