the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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