We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you never un-have a 4some
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize