I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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