So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
and she was petting her beer can
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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