I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Randomize
