he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
