Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
