shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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