yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
