guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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