im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
