I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize