i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
