he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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