I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
