Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
