I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
As shirtless as possible
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
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