You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
