His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
