The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
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