eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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