I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
