clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
