what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
My ass is underappreciated
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
