I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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