Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
