Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
