in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
