i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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