the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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