Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize