Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
