My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
