It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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