just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
