dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
