I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize