You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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