so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
