I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
