if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
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