some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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