I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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