so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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