Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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