I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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