There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize