I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
