I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
