i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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