Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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