When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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