My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
