You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
