He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
