Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
