dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
