No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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