google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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