Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
