Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
