how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
